My grandfather, see
he's eighty
and he's hard of hearing
so you have to ask him loudly
I go to lessons to learn my letters
and the teacher told us
to go and ask the old people about the old days
I've only got my grandfather so I went to him
Grandfather what was it like when you were young, I asked, loudly
And he starts telling me about the cow
how the cow was and how the field was
when it rained and when it didn't
No not that, I said, the war, the war
And when I said that he went quiet
And after a long time he says this
Back then everyone went
Not because they told us to go
but because it felt like we couldn't not go
I was twenty
The stories my grandfather told me
stories of a world I never saw
about a frozen field, about salt
about standing in a line
That's how it was then, he says
Everyone was like that then, he says
I didn't understand all of it
but I remember every bit of his voice
He showed me his shoulder, said it still hurts
said on rainy days the bone cries
That sounded funny so I laughed and he laughed too
But when he told me the next part his voice got smaller
He said my great-grandfather carried him home from the field
that he lay there forty days
that he doesn't even remember the first fortnight
Twenty is only five years older than me
and I can't imagine being like that at that age
I still find the water jar heavy
And then a woman came into it
He said she was a woman who knew her letters
the one who wrote down the names of the dying
He said she left something with him
The stories my grandfather told me
stories of a world I never saw
about a frozen field, about salt
about standing in a line
That's how it was then, he says
Everyone was like that then, he says
I didn't understand all of it
but I remember every bit of his voice
Left what with you, I said. Paper, he said.
What paper. Paper full of letters.
Did you read it. I can't read, he said.
Then who read it. Nobody.
Then where is it now
Grandfather didn't say anything for a long time
I thought he hadn't heard
so I asked again, loudly
Grandfather where is that paper
I don't remember
he said
Whether he really didn't remember
or whether he remembered and said that anyway
I don't know
I should have asked one more time
But that day he said he was tired
so I just left
I told the teacher about the cow
The stories my grandfather told me
stories of a world I never saw
I don't know where it is
I only know that it was
I don't know if that's enough
but here I am telling it again
My grandfather, see
he went to war at twenty